I've been smoking this throughout the day for several days now. Maybe four days? I'm not exactly sure. It has allowed me to be functional (a "working high" or "study high") in that it not only seems to motivate me to be doing things, it also does away anxiety and depression.
In the past few days I've started to do things again that I've missed doing, and started really trying to wrap my head around a new subject (quantum mechanics). I've started reading again, I'm halfway through the recording/editing process for a video, I was able to walk my dog without derealization bothering me (!!!), I've published a few posts on my book blog (including one I wrote...I actually free wrote a post there!), I've done a lot in cleaning/reorganizing my bedroom...and perhaps best of all, I didn't feel guilty/bad about any of this. With a minimum of that depressive thinking of "well this is worthless anyways why am I even bothering? may as well just do nothing instead because that's what depression logic says to do instead." And when that thinking does enter the picture, I can use more of Kali Mist to make it go away again and get back that motivation.
I'm pretty sure that part of the beauty of this is that it lets me have a new experience of these activities without the negative thoughts involved, so that this helps my brain learn that I can actually have positive experiences. Maybe that will help rewire my brain, given enough time, so that I can it comes to expect (and so feel) good feelings with these activities.
Also, I've smoked less of it today than I smoked yesterday, and I smoked less yesterday than the day before. The fact that less and less is required to help the same extent is something I'm very happy about. It would be awesome if I can get myself to where just smoking some at the start of the day would be enough to get me in the mindset I want throughout the day.
I don't have the energy to reread this post (it's been a long day) so I hope it's coherent.
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