Ooops forgot to title this post

 Third week in August 2019

Durban Poison (Clear Creek Cannabis) has been useful for sensory overload, sleep, anxiety, and I think depression. It's especially helpful with sensory overload if I keep it going with a relatively steady rolling high.

Bruce Banner 3 (HoodView Cannabis Distributing) seems to be a working high when used in careful moderation and mixed with caffeine. Also good for depression and anxiety.

Bad day on 8/22, had an anxiety day. Kept having anxiety returning despite TJ's Monkey Tape mixed with Kali Mist (dripper) and caffeine (I also didn't have a working high with this combo). Later tried Durban Poison, it didn't work as effectively on the anxiety as I'd been used to.

(To be fair, the Amazon rain forest is on fire and can you blame my anxiety for latching onto something that's perfectly reasonable to be scared about?)

While writing this up on 8/23 I've apparently achieved a working high by mixing Bruce Banner 3 with coffee.

Sugar Black Rose doesn't work for me

8/20/2019

Harsh to smoke, unpleasant taste, and I can't put my finger on it but this high doesn't feel pleasant.

Also, drank coffee while smoking this.

Ultimately...should not smoke this again. The strain just felt wrong the whole time I was high.

Sugar Black Rose | THC: 27% CBD: 0% | Indica

Purple GSC, Durban Poison

8/17/2019

Purple GSC (Old Gold Gardens). Helps with depression. Might work as a working high with caffeine, but definitely not by itself. Rough to smoke.

Later in the day:

Trying Durban Poison (Clear Creek Cannabis) to see if it helps with sensory overload. This time it’s bad enough that even music can be overload, which hasn’t been the case before.

Sooooo high. Auditory hallucination in right ear. It’s definitely helped with sensory overload. Still experiencing some but it’s dulled and bearable. Helping some with depression.

Purple GSC | THC: 27.3 CBD: 0% |  Hybrid
Durban Poison | THC: 32.5% CBD: 0.008% | Sativa

TJ's Monkey Tape didn't help with depression

8/15/2019

TJ's Monkey Tape (Reefer Distribution) didn't help with depression.

Alien Rock Candy | THC 29.6% CBD 0.07% | Hybrid

8/14/2019

It. Tastes. Amazing. Earthy and hints of petrichor.

Up at sunrise (just now my sleep schedule has gone, definitely not complaining), and I’m watching the last of the sunrise while smoking and drinking coffee.

Definitely a working high so far. I went and watched a bunch of YouTube videos on general relativity, even followed most of it.

A few hours later:

Smoked some more to keep the high rolling (is it called rolling?). Isn't helping depression so much now, but still helping with it being a working high. I even made a sammich and them proceeded to share the recipe as my first Stoner Recipe.

Several hours later:

 Conclusion: it seems to be a working high, but doesn't really help with depression.

Stoner Recipes: Vegan Sammich

I'm not even the type to call a sammich a sammich. I'm just high right now.

Ingredients

Onion
Sweet pepper
Salt
Pepper
Garlic powder (or fresh garlic)
Olive oil
Lettuce
Cherry tomatos
Zucchini
Ranch dressing
Avocado
Bread

Instructions

Chop onion and sweet pepper. Saute in olive oil, adding: salt, pepper, and garlic powder.

Chop lettuce, zucchini, tomatoes, and do what must be done to the avocado so it may be spread on the sammich.

Toast the bread.

When you take the onions and sweet peppers off the heat add tomatoes, and stir.

Spread avocado on one slice of bread (you temporarily have avocado toast!), add zucchini. Add the sauteed stuff. Spread a bit of ranch dressing on the other piece of bread, and add. Suddenly, a sammich occurs.

Inspiration

I just wanted avocado toast. Honestly. Then I was getting a serving of avocado out of the freezer (I didn't know this was a thing until it appeared in the fridge a couple weeks ago) and I saw sandwiches on the box that I guess reminded me of the Vegan Grinder at a certain coffee shop. So I promptly attempted to recreate it with the ingredients at hand, and likely also with my own twist.

Also, because the bread and ranch dressing I used wasn't vegan this wasn't literally a vegan sandwich. However, I'm still calling the recipe that, because you just have to buy vegan ingredients and it suddenly is vegan.

Durban Poison | THC 32.5% CBD 0.08% | Sativa

8/13/2019

Floaty, light. Will be good for sleepy. Very aware of my body, and it doesn't feel to be shaped exactly as normal, but not in an alarming way, just in a "oh I'm really high and how I experience things is odd" way. Definitely puts me in mind of Cherry Pie even though that isn't exactly the same high. I'm guessing I might be able to use these two interchangeably.

Oh wait I'm actually being productive with this one? Could it be labeled a working high? Will come back later to report on that...

Nope, definitely not a working high. Too sleepy for that, although it can help just by lifting depression.

Pennywise | THC: 9.74% CBD: 9.87% | Indica

8/10/2019

Had already smoked another one before then smoking Pennywise, still had the other in my system a bit.

I think I can say though that Pennywise was nice. At the time I wrote "Relaxed nice awesome."

Kali Mist (dripper) a working high

Early August 2019:

I’m trying the Kali Mist (dripper) mixed with caffeine. Should probably also eat something to make sure it has the best chance of working. Just one decent (by my standards) hit, want to see what that does.

Started off tasting like Christmas again, then had a rather unpleasant aftertaste, followed by a confusing but nice after after taste.

I’ve been depressed and unproductive all morning. But with this in my system I’m immediately feeling like tackling checking the water parameters and doing the water changes that need doing for my fish tanks.

A couple hours later:

Just focused on fish stuff, still need to do water changes on two or three tanks. Didn’t help directly with depression, but focusing on fish stuff was meditative and it was nice to be accomplishing things, and that lifted my mood. So, it can indirectly help.

I developed dissociation while working, but was able to work through it and just accept it as being there.

Just smoked a bit more, a smaller hit than earlier.

Things weren't working...?

In the past week my depression became severe enough that, for my own safety, I couldn't be alone. During this time the strains I'm familiar with stopped working the way I'm used to. I don't know if I just need to not smoke the same strain as much as I have or if my severe depression was messing it up, or both. Pot started being effective against depression about when I started trying new ones that I haven't been smoking a lot recently.

Also, I know I tried to take notes on Lemon Skunk, and kinda failed in note taking. I do know that I liked it. I think it helped with depression? Not entirely certain.

Lemon Skunk | THC 29% CBD 0% | Hybrid

Just want to add, I found that I'm able to take proper bong hits finally. Though I should still take smaller hits because I'm still such a lightweight and the smoke really hurt my throat for a bit.

Crown Royale and Head Banger OG

8/9/2019

Relaxed, definitely high. Possibly a working high. Nope, not focused enough for a working high. Might be different if I’d just drank some coffee. Good for depression that’s bad enough for serious suicidal ideation. Actually smiling. This is good stuff.

Crown Royale | THC: 29% CBD: 0% | Indica
(HoodView Cannabis Distribution)

A couple hours later, different pot:

Lightly raining during a quiet thunder storm. Pretty nice.

Initial hit I got sad, but am not feeling that so much now. Of course this is also interacting with the other pot, since I didn’t completely sober up before smoking this.

Twitchy from being a bit too high but otherwise am relaxed. Except feeling a bit of depression in a way I wasn’t before.

I did get to a relaxed nice high.

Head Banger OG | THC 28% CBD 0% | hybrid

Again, later:

Salad | hok

Auditory hallucinations in left ear, things popping and maybe sounding like a carnival. Pretty relaxed.

Kali Mist (dripper) | THC: 79.36% CBD: 0.28% | Indica

8/4/2019

I put a drop of Kali Mist (dripper) on CBD Critical Mass to smoke. I thought I knew what I was doing. I figured it would be fine. And at first I thought I thought it tastes like Christmas. But little did I know, I had yet to actually really get to the concentrate.

The game changed entirely once the concentrate started burning, and oh gods I don’t even know what I’ve just done. Although clearly, I seem to suddenly be all dramatic in my writing.

I covered the burning concentrate so I could save the rest of it for later. Because this is clearly very strong. Oh dammit, am I going to have to get a second pipe to dedicate to the concentrate? Or I could just admit that I’m apparently doing dabs now (am I though? is this dabbing? I don’t know enough about dabbing to know) and get a dabbing thingy. Dabber? I thought I knew what they’re called, apparently not.

I’m gonna say that I smoked too much, dang.

I’ll look back on this one day and laugh, right?

I feel super high and it’s reminding me of the same high I got with the bud. Going to try to do some things now, will report back.

Mission Chocolate Muffin: successful

Ugh chest pain. Why??? Also I’ve got anxiety thoughts about my health and if this is hurting me. Not a lot of anxiety emotion but some yes. Oh and that’s a headache coming on. Weird.

In retrospect I should have done this while with someone else who smokes pot.

Distracted myself for maybe ten minutes playing the recorder. Feel better now.

Somewhat later:

I think I had more of a working high earlier, as evidenced by my "let's do things!" and "make music!" attitude. But I was too high and too uncomfortable (chest pain) to really take advantage of it properly. I've relaxed to a point where I want to do things but...it feels too hard?

Chest pain may just be a matter of smoking a certain amount? I am a lightweight, so I wonder if chest pain could just be my body is just telling me to slow down. Oh and pain is coming back now that I'm thinking about it, so at this point some part of it could just be an expectation of it on some subconscious level. Obviously though it needs to be avoided, so I want to see if just taking one (maybe two) hits of this will work in the future.

Kali Mist (dripper) | THC: 79.36% CBD: 0.28% | Indica
CBD Critical Mass |  THC 9.61% CBD 14.5% | Indica dominant   
Otis Gardens Inc.

That little drop is how much I had to work with through this entire post

ps. Why can't the Kali Mist flower be easier to find? I'd just stick to smoking that and not have to figure out all this new stuff.

Later in the day:

I had a couple small hits, not sure how much it's affecting me now. I think it is, and I feel like I might be inclined to be doing things if I weren't so tired.

Slightly later in the day:

Took a single decent hit. Trying to see what it's like when mixed with coffee. Of course, this may be horrible timing since I've been awake for over twelve hours now. 

It isn't doing much for depression, and I think it wasn't earlier either.  

I think this is leaning towards being a working high, and I think it would have been if I had actually 1) eaten properly, and 2) not already been awake for over twelve hours.

Also, note: I still have more left to smoke in my pipe.

Interesting interaction with Benadryl

8/2/2019 (writing this the next day)

A neighbor tried to BBQ or smoke meat, unfortunately their attempts resulted in creating a lot of smoke that triggered my anxiety and possibly allergies. I initially tried Benadryl to see if treating the allergies would work, but that didn't work. An hour later I had some pot (I think Cherry Pie but I can't remember for sure) which didn't help. It was a strain that normally helps with anxiety, but I think that it aggravated the usual possible symptoms of fighting Benadryl's sleep side effects, which is that I got jittery. So it didn't really hurt, but it also didn't help.

I'm comfortable with the idea of mixing pot and Benadryl again, just not in a similar situation.

Silverback Stiletto | THC: 18.9% CBD 0.05% | Hybrid

8/3/2019

I’ve had this a couple times before but somehow never took any notes.

Revelation: I tend to mimic people’s communication styles back to them in certain ways. This itself isn’t the revelation, but rather I’ve realized how it’s impacted things with a certain person.

So, clearly, I’m thinky when high on this.

Chest pain. Huh. But I did also have chest pain earlier today. So from this one off I don't think there's a connection.

Kali Mist (cartridge) with Cherry Pie

8/3/2019

CW: self harm

Ongoing issues with dissociation were really getting to me today. I found myself doing minor self harm things like hitting my legs or digging my (basically nonexistent) fingernails into my skin. Self harm itself isn't alarming to me, what did disturb me about the self harming was that I did it without thinking. That is not like me; I'm pretty sure I've always thought about it and made a conscious decision to self harm before doing so before. So...doing it on unthinking impulse was/is disturbing to me, even though it was a minor kind of self harm that didn't leave any marks.

To sum up: derealization was affecting me emotionally much more than usual, probably causing extra anxiety, and I was acting impulsively in a way that probably contributed to my anxiety, my emotions were strong enough that I found self harm to be the only way to deal in the moment, and on top of that was normal depression.

I had some of the Kali Mist (cartridge) hoping to eventually get some sort of working high and to calm me down, and added the Cherry Pie to help with depression. I do want to note that I did not have any caffeine.

Initially this didn't seem to help, but I did get focused on YouTube educational videos which I just realized was a working high. So, maybe Kali Mist (cartridge) plus Cherry Pie gives me a working high? Also, I stopped feeling any inclination to self harm. I just realized that the dissociation also left, so...maybe this combo helped with that? Dissociation is coming back the more I think about it though. Agh.

That said, there's also a huge red flag. I've noted before that I was getting chest pains while using the Kali Mist (cartridge), but then for some reason didn't note that it was continuing in my most recent post about Kali Mist (cartridge). This is continuing to be the case. Given my medical history with chest pain I think it's best to stop using the Kali Mist (cartridge), or at least use it rarely. As to why/how this is causing chest pain for me, I only have wild guesses and will need to do some research.

Kali Mist (cartridge) | THC 79.6% CBD0.28% | Indica
Cherry Pie | THC 23.96% CBD 0.19% | Indica hybrid
(Remedy Ranch) 

Kali Mist (cartridge) + Caffeine = Working High? | Indica

7/29/2019

Kali Mist Cartridge plus caffeine may get me into a working high. Or anyways it's working now, I think it may have worked in the past when I just wasn't paying attention to how caffeine might be influencing things. Will need to start taking notes on it.

7/30/2019

This put me into feeling like I was in a working high mode, but I was unable to concentrate until I actually ate a proper meal. Apparently taking care of myself is important.

I seem to remember still experiencing depression.

7/31/2019

Effective in getting a working high, but less effective on depression than it has been in the past. So, maybe using it regularly lessons its effect on depression?

Super Silver Hashplant | THC -- CBD 26.5% | Hybrid

7/27/2019

Started with increased anxiety which then passed. Now relaxed. Good for anxiety and depression. 

Tastes almost citrusy. And earthy. First time I’ve found one that tastes citrusy. Maybe a bit like lemon? Almost minty. Only got the mint at the end. 

Definitely a haze strain because super Silver Haze is one of the parents. 

Existential crisis. Wtf. Smoked this twice tonight and happened both times. It’s not a never smoke This again thing (though maybe it is) but I’d need to be in a very particular mood for it. Questioning my own existence. Also feel distanced from my body, in a “is that mine?” way. 

Bad cottonmouth.